What was your turning point to change yourself?

[mvoncannon]

I got out of a potential EA. I analyzed why I was in one and realized I was unhappy with my marriage. My wife was verbally abusive and I was sick and tired of feeling like shit over it. I decided to try things out. Some backfired on me. In the midst of looking for help, I found NMMNG. I judged the book by the cover and thought it would be a funny book. Imagine my surprise when I read my life story in it. Here I am.

[iastor]

For me it was dealing with my wife being in ICU for a month and realizing that I hated my job, had no friends, had no interests or hobbies, was overweight and out of shape, and was heading for the bedrock of self-esteem.

I struggled for quite a while after that: a major depression complete with suicidal ideation (if you're going to go big, eh?), plenty of blame for her and her disease, the bills, everything but me.

Went to couples counseling. Found MMSL and thought what it recommended would help turn things around. Actually it was a kicker for getting into shape and really looking at myself as the issue but wasn't completely applicable to being a well-spouse. Got a lot of help in IC (still going there) identifying feelings and the source of my anger.

Found NMMNG as a recommended read on Postmasculine, read it, and am amazed at how much insight it's giving me into my issues.

[YoungNG]

Being sick of social anxiety, low confidence, being a people pleaser and a human mat, being an insecure nice little guy. All the pent up feelings of anger and frustration went out in a kind of rage. From that point i wanted to change. To express my feeling, to reveal myself, to feel more human, and to become the man i finally want to be.

[reborn]

I think, when I read the book and thought about it,
I finally realized what a f***ing liar I was.
Putting on an act for everyone, including myself.
Worrying about what people would think if they knew the real me.
Hiding my real strength, accepting mediocrity. Aargh.
It was disgusting.

[reborn]

Originally Posted by Bigeasy

Marriage #1 ended, and thought somewhere deep down inside the true problem could be with me. Marriage two start, with a woman that was 180 what the first was, started to have very similar problems as marriage #1. I decided to assume there was something about me until I found out differently. I never found out differently.

Excellent.

[The Edge]

2 points

1) At age 24 when my relationships were absolute crap and I managed to find this OSG by accident.

2) After relapsing and my GF leaving me for online cheating, 2 months ago today. Brought the car back into the shop for some serious maintenance

[MyWave]

My turning point was when I finally confronted myself. I knew I was with a destructive crazy bitch and I was allowing her to take me down with her. I realized I was letting her cause I didn't care enough about myself. I hid behind others through a myriad of covert contracts and approval seeking that only a nice guy would do. In a nutshell I realized I was scared of my own shadow and at the core of my being, I was allowing the fears of my mind to strangle my soul. Through my fears I invented a prison within my own mind that left little room to escape.

I finally challenged myself to find another way. It led me on a long exploration which led me to Glover's book. Biggest turning point in my life

[steady]

It was a destruction of my marriage and the holocaust that followed. I had tried to save my marriage at divorcebusting.com and was eventually steered toward NMMNG. I had the book for a while, but when I sat down and read it, I saw he wrote the book for me. He nailed me to a tee. Things have been changing ever since - sometimes painfully slow.

[PapaJ]

Wife and I had been fighting more and more, culminating in a day long battle. After seething with rage for the better part of a week, I stumbled across the book. I read it cover to cover in one sitting, and was shocked by how much of myself I saw in those pages. I started re-reading it a few days later, and started working on the BFEs shortly thereafter.

[JayNc]

Myself typical nice guy. getting used, being a gf to girls, etc etc

Had realised I was doing something wrong 7 yrs back when a girl dumped me. Since then i have been looking for a holy grail to solve my problems. Read lots of self help books and online material. tried reviving my self esteem and others advices online.

And then i finally found NMMNG 3 4 months back. I realised what exactly I was doing wrong. Im recovering now and I made loads of progress. Good luck guys...

[TheNewMe]

Originally Posted by Just_Hilts

When I was single I started reading PUA stuff, thinking that would lead to me being able to change myself. Once I got a girlfriend, all my insecurities, anxiety, etc came through from under the cool exterior I was trying to present.

I got divorced about 7 years ago and, similarly began learning the PUA material. Move from AFC to rAFC to well on my way to learning quite a few PUA skills. Starting dating someone, which lead to engagement and I couldn't move it forward. I was doing NG behaviors and I was not happy. I wasn't happy and my needs were not getting met. I was the NG we know all too well. The one in the typical Leave it to Beaver family.

I realized I needed to make a change and I have. I'm now going through the NMMNG material. I'm taking my time and really reflecting - trying to get at the core. And even though I learn a lot about my self previously by working on my Inner Game, it's not until I've arrived here - in the NMMNG world - that the real work can finally begin.

[MR2]

For years I have struggled with trying to figure out why the harder I tried the less I got in return from life. My marriage was falling apart and the constant battle with my wife was wearing me out. I had no balls, no self confidence, no self worth. I would always be the first to stand up to tell you what a piece of crap I am. From the outside it looks like I have the good life. Good kids, beautiful wife, nice house, but I am fricking miserable. I've read marriage books, understanding women books, and they all seemed to point toward self sacrifice but I took it way too far. One Saturday morning I was searching for an answer to find out how to gain confidence and I came across this website. Read countless posts for the next 6 weeks and saw myself in many of them. Got the book and read it all. Going thru it again this time doing the BFE's.

[carpediem]

Was walked over by my X-wife in more ways than I thought possible, and then finally one day realized she had Borderline Personality Disorder. I think I found NMMNG from some recomendation on some forum related to BPD.
Todat my life has changed and I'm a happy guy again, and much less conflict avoiding, having much saner interactions with everyone in my life.

[Skywalker]

For me it was the moment I realized that I'm 27, life is short, and I'm not living it the way I want to.

[coaltrain]

Well for me it was the opposite. The message I was getting from my family and friends was that they like me just as I am, and no change needed.