Confidence and Arrogance

[jwardl]

Originally Posted by Tower of Power

Excellent post. The hardest part for me is probably detaching from outcome, as I am aware that many people who seem arrogant also have the trappings of worldly success. This is a part of my daily living: the struggle to agree that confident living brings its own success and is a better way to be than striving to be 'confident' based on successes in a particular endeavor.

Confidence is something that HAS to come from within... and comes from being comfortable with, and most importantly, accepting of yourself. It has little if anything to do with your successes in any area.

Honestly PURSUING what you want is important... getting it is not.

At least, that's my take.

[Tower of Power]

Originally Posted by jwardl

Confidence is something that HAS to come from within... and comes from being comfortable with, and most importantly, accepting of yourself. It has little if anything to do with your successes in any area.

Honestly PURSUING what you want is important... getting it is not.

At least, that's my take.

I agree, with the theory. How are you doing with the implementation? Is it worth a thread of your own?

[zion]

I need your opinions on something.

So I had a big presentation today with a partner.
He ended up usurping a lot of the discussion by rambling, and by interrupting and talking over me.

Since I had invaluable things to add , the only way I could speak was to talk over him.

So we were basically talking over each other the entire time.

In the end, he spoke more than I did.

I told him afterwards I didn't appreciate what he did and that I expect him not to pull the same stunt next time. I think he was over-confident and possibly arrogant about it. He felt agitated about it but I made sure he understood what I was saying. I was only able to achieve that with the skills I've learned from the reading list.

But my question is: this isn't the first time it's happened to me.
Is it because I'm more or less "beta" and tend to consciously and subconsciously take a back seat to things? Maybe I let him take over without really knowing?

Or maybe it's just the fact that I'm concise as hell when I speak in public (as noted by many people) (and quite the opposite when I write on these boards).

So, even though I told him to let me speak next time, is there anything I can do to have a bigger presence next time? I have more confidence in my speaking skills than in his and I need the focus to be on me most of the time. I know things will run smoother if it's that way.

[gomab27]

OSG Vet -- based on the information you provided, the next time you present with fellow, do not engage in bantering back and forth with him. It sounds to me, that the man you're working with has a clear fear of speaking. As a result, he's talking too much and taking alot of your presentation time. Maybe, you can reorganize the presentations into a question and answer session. Since he likes to talk to so much, let start the presentation and you field all the questions. In this manner, it is you that appears to be more knowledgable than your partner. Your audience can recognize a simple mouth piece from a man who has serious knowledge.

[Krissje]

Hey Dr Glover,

iam kinda new to this forum but let me share my point of view to this Topic.


I experienced the very same scenario when i first began following some great Methods of a well known Dating and Lifestyle Coach. It was using daily Affirmations and putting myself into alignment with what i want.

Its really shocking how well those daily affirmations worked for me, and how much more confident, comfortable i became. Step-by-step i was building up a rock solid confidence.

After feeling like having dramatic success with girls, this is the point where people start to become arrogant, they know they can, they know they have something, and they start to troll around.

It's okay to be a little selfish, yes. But people have to understand the difference between beeing a real confident guy and beeing an idiot. This is what you pointed out great.

I always had to put myself down to the ground some days.