This is getting out of hand...

[SeattleZ]

Hey Coal - she's 2 right now but going on 12 sometimes it seems. She's amazing, I value every of the 66 hrs per month I get to be with her right now (GRRRRR!!!). That will get changed soon, I hope.

My wife has been up to her tricks again lately. Two days ago my wife picked up our daughter from my overnight. A short while later my wife texts me to ask where she got the "cut" on her head. She had a tiny scratch, most likely self inflicted during her nap that I barely noticed myself. I asked my wife if that was what she was talking about, then told my wife "Being a kid. She got it playing.". My wife blew up via text, saying how she had a right to know and that I was being "elusive" and a "smart mouth".

Based on this and prior weeks, I have a feeling she's going to try to say I let my daughter get injured and/or sick without care, etc. I don't want to resort to taking head-to-toe pictures of my daughter before and after each of her overnight visits. I'm interested what others think about this.

[RefDad]

Originally Posted by SeattleZ

I don't want to resort to taking head-to-toe pictures of my daughter before and after each of her overnight visits. I'm interested what others think about this.

You may need to do just that, if that's the way your wife is going to be. You've got to expect that your STBX will pull every mean & nasty low blow trick in the book to gain some advantage in court. For now you need to respond to each and every accusation with proof, proof, proof. This will tell her you are very serious about getting the time you deserve with your daughter and will not sit idly by while she asassinates your character.

Track everything you do for and with the child. Track the bills you are paying and the direct financial support you are providing. The goal here is to document that you are an involved father and that giving you less than 50% custody would be criminal.

When I showed my ex the spreadsheet I was keeping to track my involvement, the look of shock on her face was priceless. She immediately spun it to say "so you're going to use all of this against me" and I said no, this has nothing to do with you and everything to do with the kids. The court wants the kids to have continuity, and if I'm providing the care now I should also be able to provide it in the future. And I fully intend to support and raise the kids directly and in person, not by cutting you a check.

[Dadtoall]

Originally Posted by SeattleZ

Based on this and prior weeks, I have a feeling she's going to try to say I let my daughter get injured and/or sick without care, etc. I don't want to resort to taking head-to-toe pictures of my daughter before and after each of her overnight visits. I'm interested what others think about this.

You cannot live in fear. What are you going to do - not take your daughter out anywhere nor let her play in the yard for fear that she will hurt herself or catch a bug?

DO take reasonable precautions. Keep her out of reach of chemicals or sharp edges. Feed and dress her appropriately. Have a reasonable schedule for her. Buy a helmet and pads for bike rides, and a life jacket for the pool. Give your ex a heads-up of any serious bruises and if you should have to take your daughter to the doctor or hospital during your time with her.

Other than that, live your life. Remember that your ex is just flinging shit at you, and would be just as critical of you if this happened during her time and you called her out on it.