voicing opinions v's moaning

[pheonix]

Hi guys, I've been noticing a bit of a trend where I work. Basicly there are a few of us that's really passionate about what we do and want to do our best and use our initutive to do jobs that need to be done before we're asked to by a member of management, and think that everyone else should have the same atitude as us. And if they dont I find that we get a bit negative towards them. I know it must come across as really high and mighty and bitchy and I don't want to fall into that trap.

I think that although it's good to want to do my best and use my initutive and be part of the "work hard possie" I dont want to slip into a moaning mind set towards others and be seen as someone that moans to management about lazy collegues and small unimportant things. But at the same time i'd like to get these thing across in a healthy way so that people take note.

So do any of you have any ideas on how to keep myself in with people that i've aligned myself with but to stay clear of the moaning and finger pointing.

Thankyou in advance.

[CrystalPalace]

I hear lots of judgement in these statements. You're "good" your coworkers are "bad" and God died and made you judge of what's good and bad.

I've spent most of my life being one of the most judgmental people in the world.

I will probably spend the rest of my life getting over it. I've found that hidden in my judgmental agenda of others was a ruthless and vicious judgement of myself. I have only made progress being less judgmental and more accepting of others as I've worked to understand, accept, and like myself.

Best regards,

[pheonix]

Thank you for pointing that out and that is what I was worried about how both myself (in paricular) and some of my collegues may come across.

I can only sort myself out and grow as a person. So do you have any surgestions on how I can get more understanding towards others ect?

[GWS]

Originally Posted by pheonix

So do any of you have any ideas on how to keep myself in with people that i've aligned myself with but to stay clear of the moaning and finger pointing.

I've had to learn how to deal with this recently. I think Crystal has it right. The change you need to make is in your way of thinking. I don't know if there's any tricks to it. You just need to do it.

Basically, all you can do is just stop trying to place blame on anyone. That's really what you're doing when you whine and point fingers. Instead, focus on the processes and see if there's any way to improve it. Find a way to "love" your fellow co-workers both good and bad and it'll be easier to forgive them of their faults.

For practice, you can take a physical object like a food or music or article of clothing that you don't like and try to find something good about it. Keep repeating it until you like it. This is what being "open-minded" feels like and you can then try this with your coworkers.

[chevy1947]

I also had to learn that yes somebody might have made a mistake but the task at hand is solving the problem.

If it is one person or a few people that make all the mistakes then you need to have a one on one or depending on what is required at your work a meeting with a supervisor.

In the meeting it should not be a finger pointing game but we need to address mistakes and how to avoid them type of talk.

I equate it to being pro-active vs re-active

pro-active is helping somebody that is making a mistake by giving them a heads up, re-active is bitching about the mistake they made then being pissed you had to help fix it.

pro-active tends to work the best.